An overnight sensation thirty years in the making.

The Founder

Every time we detect an asteroid from outside the Solar System, we should immediately launch a mission to fling one of our asteroids back in the direction it came from.

XKCD, “Interstellar Astroid”

In fact, it is as if you know that you are wrong, and yet rather than seek that which is right, you complain whenever others point out how wrong you are.

Mark Paglia, “Extract from Plato’s Republic: On that Which is Correct Politically”

George Washington, “Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation”

I’ve been going over your music, and when we get to this section here, either I can play really loud or jab you with a pin because between you and me you’re not hitting this note without a pole vault.

Frasier, “Look Before You Leap”

Butter Ring, or “Smorkage” (Solvang, California)

• Mortenson’s Danish Bakery
• Olsen’s Danish Bakery

Adam Rotstein, “Hey, It's Me, a Woke Misogynist Sliding Right on into Your DMs”

Make an event out of the worst tasks.

Cal Newport, “How to Become a Straight-A Student”

There have been 1,516,863 gun-related deaths since 1968, compared to 1,396,733 cumulative war deaths since the American Revolution.

Louis Jacobson, “More Americans Killed By Guns Since 1968 Than in all U.S. Wars”

Here’s what I have learned: if you retire to spend more time with your family, check with your family first.

David Letterman

We can’t exegete our way to justice.

Slacktivist, “The Defenders of Slavery Taught Us How to Bible

One, can he really be this stupid? Two, does he really think we as a country are this stupid? And three, are we as a country this stupid? It’s entirely possible the answer to all three questions is “yes.”

John Oliver, “Last Week Tonight”

Mayhem is their genius. They’re a lot like Amelia Bedelia in that way, if, as I do, you read Amelia Bedelia as a rebel saboteur of the patriarchy.

Abbey Fenbert, “The Pitch Meeting for Animaniacs”