The Big Lebowski, “Sometimes, There’s a Man”

Way out west there was this fella … fella I wanna tell you about. Fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Mr. Lebowski, he called himself “The Dude”.

Now, “Dude”—that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interesting.

They call Los Angeles the “City of Angels”. I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow there are some nice folks there. ’Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, as the fella says. But I’ll tell you what, after seeing Los Angeles and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen something every bit as stupefying as you’d see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feeling like the good Lord gypped me.

Now this here story I’m about to unfold took place back in the early ’90s—just about the time of our conflict with Saddam and the Iraqis. I only mention it because sometimes there’s a man … I won’t say a hero, ’cause what’s a hero? But sometimes there’s a man … and I’m talking about the Dude, here. Sometimes there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude, in Los Angeles. And even if he’s a lazy man—and the Dude was most certainly that; quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the running for laziest worldwide. But sometimes, there’s a man … sometimes, there’s a man.